There is a loneliness few speak of—the kind that exists inside a relationship where love has faded, but duty remains.

You wake up next to someone. Share meals. Exchange polite words. But the spark, the aliveness, the deep connection? It faded into the mist like an early morning dream.

And yet, you stay.

Not because you want to, but because leaving feels impossible.

You care. You don’t want to hurt them. You don’t want to be the one to shatter their heart. So, you convince yourself that staying is the right thing to do. That love is about sacrifice. That commitment means endurance. That what you want doesn’t matter as much as what you should do.

But a relationship without love is lonely. It is a quiet erosion of the soul. A contract of guilt and obligation that drains you both.

If love no longer flows effortlessly between two people, the mind fills the void with reasons to stay:

Guilt – “I don’t love them, but they love me. How could I hurt them like this?”

Obligation – “They’ve given me so much. I owe it to them to stay.”

Fear of hurting them – “What if they fall apart? What if they never recover?”

Fear of their reaction – “What if they lash out? What if they make me feel like a bad person?”

Fear of being alone – “What if I never find love again?”

Self-doubt – “Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I should try harder.”

Low self-worth – “Maybe this is the best I’ll ever get.”

And so, we stay. We tell ourselves:
"I made a promise. I should honor it."
"Leaving goes against everything I was taught about love."
"I don’t want to break up my family."
"I can’t afford to leave."
"I don’t have the energy for a painful conversation."
"I’ve already given so many years. I don’t want it to be for nothing."
"What if this is my only chance at companionship?"

Staying appears easier—on the surface. But beneath that illusion of stability, your soul is whispering for something more.

This belief did not begin with this relationship. It was planted in childhood.
If you were raised to believe that love meant self-sacrifice and that your needs were secondary, then of course you feel guilty for wanting more. Of course you struggle to leave.

Inside of you, two voices wage battle:
Desire whispers, “This is not love. You deserve more.”
Duty whispers back, “But you can’t leave. You will hurt them.”

But love is not something we owe another person. It is something we give freely.

And if you are in a relationship without love, you are not selfish for longing to feel alive again. You are not a bad person for wanting more. Because no one wants to be loved out of obligation.

If love is a duty, it is not love at all.

If this resonates with you, know that you are not alone. 
You are allowed to seek a love that feels like love. You are allowed to honor your heart.

And if you need clarity, healing, or support, I invite you to connect with me. Consultation Call with Catherine

Love doesn't have to be a choice between Duty vs. Desire.

Love yourself and fulfill your own passions and support your partner's passions. 

Don't come together to seek completion, but come together to share a life with each other, and grow together.  Add to each other's life - don't seek to take from each other.

We aren't necessarily meant to stay with the same person our entire life.  Yes, that is the fairy tale story we are conditioned to buy into, but it isn't everyone's truth.

Some of us are meant until death do us part, and some of us are meant for something else.

When you love yourself first and honor your desires and passions, it is not as devastating when the marriage or relationship comes to an end. 

Love is not an obligation.

Love is not a duty.

I promise you that love is within you and all around you once you can let go of all that isn't you.

xoxo love, Catherine

The Love Priestess

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